One Day the Golden Cow Will Run Dry….

Man, this Justin Bieber guy really knows how to sell his shit.

Known for his stupid girly haircut, he recently went and chopped it all off.

And the collective of girls aged 12 – 17,

Shit.

Their.

Pants.

Now, not only can you see a more “distinguished, mature” Justin but the kid is trying to shed his baby image. Personally I think he looks terrible, but I suppose he has to re-invent his “image.” Now that he’s turned what, 16? He’s gonna hit puberty and who knows where his voice is gonna go.

"J-Beebs" new "do"

So the smart people who he employs to keep him afloat have recently put out: a remix of his few terrible songs, a book, and a movie.

These music exec’s definitely know how to cash in on what’s going out. Sooner or later when the girl’s realize that Justin’s fun has worn off they’ll find someone new. Someone who’s good enough to win a Grammy or two.

But just wait! There’s more!

Now that Justin’s lost all his hair, he needs to get some money off that too! So he bottle some up and gave it to Ellen DeGeneres to sell. Albeit it’s for charity, but still. SELLING YOUR FUCKING HAIR?! You’ve got to be kidding me. How brainwashed do these people have to be to want to buy some hair, that’s not even guaranteed to be his, to put in a bottle on your shelf for the next 15 years, and then realize you spent $7 000 on some strands of hair. I’ll put my hair in a bottle and sell it for $2 000! That’s a steal of a deal.

(Just in case you actually want to see that I’m not shitting you – http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280634735857 – there’s the eBay auction link)

Enough about this.

Charlie Sheen said some more bad stuff about his co-stars of Two and a Half Men today, causing the show to shut down for the rest of the season. What a smart man he’s turning out to be. But this is all according to TMZ – so who knows.

We all do, TMZ is pretty accurate when it comes to this stuff.

In other news:

The manager of the Arcade Fire, the Canadian band who won Album of the Year at the Grammy’s last week, spoke out today to the critics saying that the band should not have won the award. In the New York times this week, a full page ad was taken out by a music exec who apparently said that the Grammy’s are rigged and that a band such as the Arcade Fire wasn’t good enough or popular enough to win. All I have to say to that is, Buddy wait for the fuckin’ People’s Choice Awards, that’s the popularity contest you’re looking for.

Specifically, Stoute (the critic) criticized the snubbing of a Canadian teen idol – “How is it that Justin Bieber, an artist that defines what it means to be a modern artist, did not win Best New Artist?” – and insinuated that the show-closing album-of-the-year win by Montreal indie rockers Arcade Fire was known by show producers in advance, as evidenced by the band having two songs prepared – one before the announcement by Barbra Streisand and one after, as the broadcast closed.

To that, Rodger (the manager) replied: “The reason we got a second song was also simple. No big plot. We had no guarantee of air time, but it was simply to play out the end credits of the show, if we’d even had that much.”

Arcade Fire deserved to win Grammy – Globe and Mail

And lastly, Ricky Gervais wrote some opening lines for James Franco and Anne Hathaway’s opening monologue for the Oscar’s on Sunday.

JF
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!

AH
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.

JF
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.

AH
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London…

(Nervous laughter)

He’s doing some charity work.
Yeah, he’s visiting orphans with cancer.
He’s telling them what bald little losers they are…

JF
Yeah, cos he’s rude right?

(Applause)

Thank you.
No rudeness tonight.
It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.

(Applause)

That’s not to say that we don’t care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they’d been living off dead beetles all their lives.

AH
Yeah and Yoko Ono said. “What’s wrong with that?”

(Laughter)

More at Ricky’s Blog – here.

And now that you’re all caught up in your celebrity gossip – let’s talk about me!

I recorded a demo CD for a band on Tuesday night – I think you should go listen to it! Please? It’s in the post below – so you don’t actually have to go anywhere!

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