The Facebook Dilemma
So – I haven’t written on here for a while, but fret not! All is not lost. I have just been busy. But kind of not really. I’m back working at the Gap and doing all the recordings during the summer so that’s keeping me partially busy. You’ll see below two versions of a recording I did with Chris Ho recently. It was a good time, and I think that the recording turned out well. Thoughts? Do you like version one or the remixed version two?
I did well in school. Passed all my classes. One D – in my super tough electrical engineering course (Thank GOD – no more elec), 2 B+’s and 2 A’s. This has definitely been one of my
more successful years even though I did get two D’s. So – I’m glad to be done that, and enjoying summer.
Image via Wikipedia
So the main thing I wanted to rant about today was my Facebook Dilemma. It’s about choosing who to add and who not to add. There are lots of people who I see on a semi-regular basis and have classes with and talk with in those classes occasionally. I would not consider these people my friends but they are people I could talk to at a party or in a social setting. Being kind of an outsider in the School of Music – that means there’s a lot of people who don’t really know me and vice versa, even though we’ve had classes together for 3 years now.
Should I be adding these people to my Facebook who aren’t really friends but decent enough acquaintances to justify a friend request? I know lots of people treat Facebook differently and think that “You should only add your true friends and people you actually know.” And then there’s the flip side of people who add just about everyone and anyone to their friends list. It’s all about how open and how social you are. I feel that I’m somewhere in the middle and will add people even though I’m not necessarily friends with them. I figure I might as well – there’s really no harm since I keep my Facebook pretty secure in what I share.
My general rule of thumb is if I would say hi to them on the street or nodded in passing (in terms of guys) then I can add them as a friend. To me this means that we know who each other are and share some kind of acknowledgement or whatever you want to call it. This also works pretty easy for deleting people – if I see them in public and make direct eye contact and they don’t say hi – I’ll delete them from my account.
Oh the tough life of a suburban university student. Who to add on Facebook such a huge dilemma.
What are your thoughts? Who do you add? Do you have filters for different groups of people?
- J
Related Articles
- How to use Facebook Friend Lists to your advantage (insights-group.com)
Faust Arp
Why hello there internet land! Long time no speak.
I feel like I haven’t written a meaningful post in ages. Mostly because my life was rather dull. Let me just check and see where I last left off…Good grief. It was May 5th when I last wrote something that pertains closely to my life. So let’s see, I’ll try and begin from there.
School had ended, it was the best semester I had ever had. My jazz band mark sucked, so I appealed it and got a better one. I decided to go home to Calgary.
The Gap
Found work with the Gap, and eventually the City of Calgary. Applied to countless jobs. Had an interview to be an audio editor with CJSW, the University of Calgary radio station. Didn’t get it. Sad. Missed lover. Was missed by lover. Hated Calgary. Lots of friends who I thought were closer didn’t seem interested. Saw my good friends and that was good. Had fun. Went to a show. Saw my old band teacher (awkward). Went to Thunder Bay to see my grandparents. Drank rye and had es cargo with them. Hated life. Fought with Parents. Folded Jeans @ the Gap. Folded Shirts @ the Gap. Put up tents for the City. Folded more jeans. Put up more tents. Hated Calgary. Decided to move. Fought with Parents. Came to Victoria. Had to deal with psycho mother. Found a place. Living with lover. Happy.
That’s more or less the last two months of my life. In a nutshell. Calgary just doesn’t suit me that well. I dislike the lifestyle, and just the atmosphere of the city. It was good to see a couple of my close friends, but they’ll still be my friends no matter where I am so coming back to Victoria didn’t matter. I left playing on a ultimate frisbee team, which I’ll miss, but I’ll survive. It was good being active again. I just have to get out running. I finally finished my book (The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova) and it was good, the ending was a little unexpected. I’m going to start reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon which I mentioned in a previous post.
The last week has been hell though, but it’s looking up. I was here with my mom looking for a place to live. I used mainly Craigslist, Kijiji, and the UVic housing site to scope out places. It sucked trying to remember what each place offered and who lived there and stuff. I saw a lot of really shitty places where 9 other people lived and some with owners that wanted to be my parents. And I didn’t want that. I wanted to be independent in a nice household, with ceilings that weren’t so low that I hit my head.
I ended up finding a great little character home close to my lover. The owner is a 49 old mother of three who has a little shitzhu. The bathroom has been converted to a splash room, which as most of you don’t know, is a room where everything can get wet. The shower head hangs from the ceiling, which means I will have no problems washing my hair on the top of my large 6’4″ frame. And a vintage oven/stove. So I’m pretty stoked, I move in sometime this coming week.
My mother drove my absolutely crazy over this week. Hell, the entire time I was home, both my parents drove me crazy. I think my mom asked me 4 or 5 times if I was depressed. Had me rate my happiness levels from 1 – 10. Pestered me why I wasn’t eating a lot or why I didn’t go out or whatever. I just didn’t want to be around them. They continually asked me if my lover was the only reason why I wanted to move and they questioned her character which was insulting to me and her. When in Victoria, my mother was indecisive, emotional (she cried at least 10 times over the course of 3 days), and just overall really stupid. It doesn’t make sense to me that she would be this emotional over me moving. This has happened twice before when I’ve had school. You’d think she’d be used to it by now. And I’m not one who is emotional or shows very much emotion, so it’s hard for me to be sincere about it. Sigh, she’s gone now so I can relax and enjoy myself in Victoria.
Tokyo Police Club's new CD: "Champ"
But I have to find a job now. I’ve already applied at quite a few places and the Gap might hire me back as well. So things are looking up and I’m trying to stay busy, without spending a lot of money. That being said, I am going to the casino tonight. So shush. Maybe I’ll win $100 in blackjack or something. That’d be pretty awesome.
I’ve been listening to a lot of new music lately. The new Broken Social Scene CD = not good. The new New Pornographers CD = good. Citizen Cope = really good. New Deftones CD = really good. New Secret and Whisper = good. The new Tokyo Police Club CD = really good. Go check them out now!
Pixar's best new short: "Day and Night"
I saw Toy Story 3 yesterday! It was really good for a 3rd movie. Not sure if it’s good as a stand-alone film. But still really great. I loved the short Day and Night at the beginning. May be one of the best ever, behind the chess player of course. Pixar really knows how to get things done.
I’ll leave you with that short! Hopefully I can start posting more now that I feel up to it. Have a good one!
An Interesting Read on Facebook
I am definitely gonna look at my privacy settings on Facebook right now.
Facebook’s Eroding Privacy Policy: A Timeline | Electronic Frontier Foundation.
Since its incorporation just over five years ago, Facebook has undergone a remarkable transformation. When it started, it was a private space for communication with a group of your choice. Soon, it transformed into a platform where much of your information is public by default. Today, it has become a platform where you have no choice but to make certain information public, and this public information may be shared by Facebook with its partner websites and used to target ads.
To help illustrate Facebook’s shift away from privacy, we have highlighted some excerpts from Facebook’s privacy policies over the years. Watch closely as your privacy disappears, one small change at a time!
Facebook Privacy Policy circa 2005:
No personal information that you submit to Thefacebook will be available to any user of the Web Site who does not belong to at least one of the groups specified by you in your privacy settings.
Facebook Privacy Policy circa 2006:
We understand you may not want everyone in the world to have the information you share on Facebook; that is why we give you control of your information. Our default privacy settings limit the information displayed in your profile to your school, your specified local area, and other reasonable community limitations that we tell you about.
Facebook Privacy Policy circa 2007:
Profile information you submit to Facebook will be available to users of Facebook who belong to at least one of the networks you allow to access the information through your privacy settings (e.g., school, geography, friends of friends). Your name, school name, and profile picture thumbnail will be available in search results across the Facebook network unless you alter your privacy settings.
Facebook Privacy Policy circa November 2009:
Facebook is designed to make it easy for you to share your information with anyone you want. You decide how much information you feel comfortable sharing on Facebook and you control how it is distributed through your privacy settings. You should review the default privacy settings and change them if necessary to reflect your preferences. You should also consider your settings whenever you share information. …
Information set to “everyone” is publicly available information, may be accessed by everyone on the Internet (including people not logged into Facebook), is subject to indexing by third party search engines, may be associated with you outside of Facebook (such as when you visit other sites on the internet), and may be imported and exported by us and others without privacy limitations. The default privacy setting for certain types of information you post on Facebook is set to “everyone.” You can review and change the default settings in your privacy settings.
Facebook Privacy Policy circa December 2009:
Certain categories of information such as your name, profile photo, list of friends and pages you are a fan of, gender, geographic region, and networks you belong to are considered publicly available to everyone, including Facebook-enhanced applications, and therefore do not have privacy settings. You can, however, limit the ability of others to find this information through search using your search privacy settings.
Current Facebook Privacy Policy, as of April 2010:
When you connect with an application or website it will have access to General Information about you. The term General Information includes your and your friends’ names, profile pictures, gender, user IDs, connections, and any content shared using the Everyone privacy setting. … The default privacy setting for certain types of information you post on Facebook is set to “everyone.” … Because it takes two to connect, your privacy settings only control who can see the connection on your profile page. If you are uncomfortable with the connection being publicly available, you should consider removing (or not making) the connection.
Viewed together, the successive policies tell a clear story. Facebook originally earned its core base of users by offering them simple and powerful controls over their personal information. As Facebook grew larger and became more important, it could have chosen to maintain or improve those controls. Instead, it’s slowly but surely helped itself — and its advertising and business partners — to more and more of its users’ information, while limiting the users’ options to control their own information.
Sunshine of My Love
So I guess it’s been a long time since I’ve actually written anything about my life on here. A lot has gone on since I last posted.
I ended up having my best semester in school, with 2 A-’s, a B+, a C+ (which is being appealed), and a C. Hurray for me.
I moved out of my place in residence at school. I have definitely accumulated way too much stuff over my two years living there. I had two medium sized tupperware containers and one large (maybe 6 foot x 2 foot x 2 foot) tupperware container – just filled with books and stuff and crap and all this stupid random stuff. I had 2 x 3 ft ziploc bags full of clothes, 1 5 ft ziploc bag full of clothes. Then one re-usuable bag for my picture frames, two gym bags, one box for my keyboard. And that’s just stuff I left there. I brought home another box and another tupperwear, my guitar and two suitcases of clothes. And then some shoes and other crap.
So I was fortunate enough that my two roommates had gotten a storage locker and had enough room for my stuff too. On my last day I got my stuff into the locker and headed downtown with girlfriend for dinner at our favourite little Chinese place. Which was nice. I really miss her lots. She won’t be coming home at all this summer. She’s finishing up her degree and staying behind without me. Makes me sad.
I flew out here last Wednesday and got home late-ish. And every time I come home from the airport I hope and dream that my mom will let me sit in the front seat on the car ride home. And every time, without fail, my hopes and dreams are shattered. So I finally got home and relaxed.
And that’s what I’ve been doing basically for the past week. Nothing. I went to see the KGB on Thursday. They were pretty good, luckily we came early enough that we didn’t have to pay the $15 cover. I was impressed that they’re playing so many shows and have a bit of a fan base going. It was really awkward, I saw my old band teacher at the show that night. He came and sat with us and talked for their entire set. Unfortunately he conned us into buy tickets to his jazz show on the weekend. We got suckered and bought tickets. (http://www.myspace.com/kronicgrooveband)
This show was at the Beat Niq and featured a bunch of people I had never heard of. It was okay – probably not worth the money we paid but whatever. It was what I like to call free jazz – which follows a very loose form of chorus – solo – solo – solo – chorus. Where each player (there was 3 and a drummer) would take solos. This is fine and all, but the choruses sound so off and random. The band doesn’t really sound like a band. Each player does their own thing and the sound is very incoherent. I’m not sure if this is the sonic goal of this style, but it’s definitely not something for everyone.
So basically the only point for me coming home was to work all summer and make lots of money. So far that’s a flop. My brother has deemed me a ‘jobless shithead’. But that’s okay. Maybe I’ll just free-load of my parents all summer. Sounds like a good plan to me. I had an interview today with the City, as an event crew member. I’m probably going to get this job, but it’s only on call, so that probably won’t yield very many hours. I was going to have an interview at the Gap – but the guy hasn’t returned 3 of my calls. I also had an interview @ CJSW – the local university radio station. Doing a job that I would really love. Unfortunately I got a phone call from them this afternoon saying that although I had a great interview and a great portfolio – there was just someone out there that’s better than me. The shitty thing for me is that my resume is so specific that it doesn’t apply to anything else. I really have no skills in the service industry. Or any other industry other than my own. Sigh.
Umm. I hate being home. I hate living with my parents. They drive me insane daily. Every time I sit down for dinner, I feel like it’s the “15-minutes-of-interrogation” where they try and ask me as many questions as possible in a little time span. Since my brother took our other car to Edmonton with him for the summer, our 3-piece family is left with one vehicle. My dad takes the bus to work (how green of him) and that means my mom and I have to share our other car. This is a pain in the ass. Being at home is a pain in the ass. I spend most of my time in my studio – where I lose most sense of time with no windows.
Most of my friends here have been either too busy or just don’t care. When talking to them about coming back they all seemed excited about seeing me and wanting to hang out. So far I’ve seen four people since I’ve come back. I don’t expect that number to get much higher in the coming months. I’m starting to learn that people are generally really excited about the idea of seeing you when you come home from university – but in practice it doesn’t really happen.
I’ve been having a terrible time being away from Girlfriend. It’s terrible trying to do a long distance relationship again. We said we were going to break up for the summer – but it’s just stupid and too hard for both of us to not want to be together. I hate being away from home, from her, and Geoffery. We’ve been watching lots of new Robert De Niro movies, Raging Bull, and Taxi Driver. Both weird fucked up movies. De Niro was good though. I’ve been watching the second season of Parks and Recreation – it’s pretty good. Definitely better than the first, but not as good as the Office. Hopefully it keeps going. Next is Breaking Bad.
Sigh. Here’s a few pictures of my new set-up at home. 
So basically I hate being home and I hate living here! How are you doing? Probably better than me. Can’t wait for this summer to be over.
Later days,
- J
Tonight Feels Like a Matthew Good Night…
Blahh. That is the best way to describe the entirety of today. Blah.
I officially hate reading break. It’s so terribly boring. I have absolutely nothing to do. I suppose I could be playing guitar or recording or actually doing some reading, but I just have no motivation. I am in just a very blah zone this week.
My friend told me about one of his friends who is putting on an art show featuring younger people, and he told me to look into it to display my photos. So I did and I am going to be in this show later next week. So I’m trying to prepare to get some photographs together, and I’ve decided I’m going to get 3 printed for this show, two 8 x 10′s and one 11 x 14 to kinda be the feature piece. So I put in my order to Black’s and figure they’ll be ready by the afternoon sometime. So a few hours go by and my two 8 x 10′s are ready, and I’m like okay, the 11 x 14 will take a little longer that’s understandable. So I wait and I wait, constantly checking my email to see if this 11 x 14 is done. Eventually I got sick of waiting and met up with a friend for coffee (which is probably why I am up so late yet again). And she told me she had the same problem with Black’s last Christmas, she said it took them a week to print her photo because they have to do it in Toronto or something. So I was like fuck and eventually went home, called Black’s and they told me it should be ready in about ten days, which is just fucking great, I’m not going to have it in time for the showing. So I basically wasted my entire waiting for this photo to be ready, when really it’s going to be a whole week.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better, I’m going to go pick up my 8 x 10′s and find some frames for them @ Value Village. Maybe I’ll do something productive. Unlike today.
This whole week has been full of waiting and hoping. Girlfriend has been busy just about everyday except Monday (my birthday) with her papers, and with one roommate at work, one roommate in Calgary and the last having his long-distance girlfriend here, I’m pretty lonely. So I’m waiting for either Girlfriend to be done for the day, and then I get to spend a little bit of time with her before she goes back to work or to bed. And I’ve bought those shoes and waiting for them to come, I also won a new camera lens on Ebay, so I’m waiting for that, I’m got an iPod for my birthday using Aeroplan points, and that’s going to take 4 – 6 weeks to get here, so I’ m waiting for that to arrive, my best friend sent me a birthday package yesterday, so I’m waiting for that, and my brother is suppose to be sending Girlfriend her Christmas present sometime, so I’m waiting for that too. All in all, I’m waiting for 6 things to get here. And whoever invented package tracking sucks. Because I will check the status of these things about 15+ times a day to see if they’ve moved.
I’m not sure what else there is to say…my life has been far from interesting. Oh!
So it was my birthday last week. Well technically still this week, and for that I got some nice Lego and a guitar strap from Girlfriend, and amaretto and a mini-tripod from my roommates. But the best part was what my mom gave me. Well, made me. Well…knit me. I got a dark purple sweater vest from her. Great. Just great. She had me open it while I was on the phone with her, even worse. I had to pretend like I liked it. I am never going to wear it ever, I will provide a picture for your comedic enjoyment. So that’s just perfect. Now she can knit big things, I’ll be expecting a full sweater and mitts and toques for Christmas now. Blah.
I feel like I’ve probably posted this song before, but it’s one of my favourites. And since I said it was a Matthew Good night, I figure I should post some Matthew Good.
And with that, I bid you adieu.
- J
Repost: Sorry, those Facebook friends aren’t really friends – The Globe and Mail
This is why I only have 88 friends on MY facebook.
from: The Globe and Mail; http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/family-and-relationships/sorry-those-facebook-friends-arent-really-friends/article1443661/
Technology may change, but the number of friends we can have appears to stay the same.
While social networking sites allow users to have thousands of “friends”, the mind is only capable of handling a maximum of 150 relationships at one time, according to a new study conducted by Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist at Oxford University.
In the 1990s, Dr. Dunbar carried out research showing that the part of the brain responsible for thinking and language cannot accommodate more than 150 friends – defined as people a person cares about and makes contact with at least once a year. That figure has since been known as “Dunbar’s number.”
But does the ability to connect with people online push the limits of Dunbar’s number?
Sorry, Tila Tequila, but in looking at the online traffic of roughly 500 people’s social networks on sites including Facebook and MySpace, Dr. Dunbar’s new research suggests our ability to maintain friendships is just as limited on the Web as in the real world.
“You can list 10,000 people as friends on your social networking site. But the big issue is the quality of those relationships,” Dr. Dunbar says.
“If you look at people’s actual social networking sites and whom they actually contact on a regular basis, then that really comes down to the same group of people that they meet face to face with in the real world.”
The upper limit of faces we can put names to is somewhere between 1,500 and 2,000, he says. Which means those thousands of Facebook friends one might have are much less than real friends.
“You can’t even know who they are, actually,” Dr. Dunbar says.
The full results of the study are expected to be published later this year.
via Sorry, those Facebook friends aren’t really friends – The Globe and Mail.
On nights like tonight when no one’s around
Good morning to you all in internet-land! It’s been a while since I’ve posted so I figure I should do one since I’m up so early! Or earlier than usual. Hopefully this won’t make me crazy tired later in the day.
I have been quite busy and equally distracted lately. I find that I tend to have a bit of an obsessive personality. I will find something that I enjoy doing, or something that keeps me mildly entertained for a while, and I will just do that forever. The last few weeks, it’s been Bejeweled on Facebook, and I got all the way up to 279 000 points. And now, my roommate bought NHL 10 for the PS3. Which is all fine and dandy with me, but now it’s more or less the only thing I want to do when I’m home. I don’t know why I find it so fun or whatever but I just enjoy it. Hopefully this fad passes sooner rather than later so I can get some homework done.
It’s been one of those weeks where I don’t really feel like doing much of anything ever. I just want a break sometimes. I know reading week is coming up for us soon. So maybe that will be a good time to relax. I have been having the urge to just play guitar and write down some new stuff, but no time or motivation. I feel like I’m addicted to all the wrong things, Bejeweled, video games. One of the guys in my program is like “I wanna get home and play with this new MIDI controller that I have hooked up to all these faders and effects and stuff.” For those of you not musically inclined, this won’t make sense. But I just wish I was doing that kind of stuff. I have my recording gear here and a few mics. But I feel like I have nothing to record or nothing to do to it. I personally like music that can be recorded straight from the floor. As in, there doesn’t have to be any effects added to it. So I generally don’t do that. I’ve fooled around with positioning and stuff, but who knows.
Speaking of my career choice, the school newspaper for which I write is putting on a concert on November 5th, and I get to be the sound guy! Which is pretty nifty. It helps to have connections to different parts of the school I guess. This is either going to be pretty sweet or pretty difficult as I’m pretty much setting up from scratch, (I think). Oh well, lots of time to plan.
One “song” I’ve been thinking about is my current Msn name, it goes something like this:
Dear Friends Forgotten; Measure your success your way, I’ll do the same, I’m happy to never see you again.
Basically I’m planning on writing a song to my friends who I’ve lost over the past years. I was thinking about this a few days ago and how people just seem to fall out of your life. And what if you had the chance to talk to them or see them again, or write them a letter. And that’s what this is about. I feel like if I saw my one friend, We’ll denote him E for “privacy” sake, that he would be all like, “Oh yeah? Well I’m going here and I’m going to be doing this and when I get done I’m going to be on TV and make a shit load of money.” Where as I know what he’s really been doing for the past year *coughwashingdishesandsnortingcopiousamountsofcoke* So I feel like I might not ever become as big of a global “success” as him, but I know that I will be better off for doing so. I was also thinking about my friend who I completely cut off, you may have read about her in earlier posts. I have yet to hear from her or about her. She’s clearly made no attempts to be my friend, so that message is pretty clear to me. I’ve heard a little bit about her and people are saying that she’s really changed. Go figure.
If there’s one thing about Calgary I miss a lot, it’s the gossip. I’m horrible for wanting to know what’s going on in other people’s lives, and who’s dating who, and who screwed who and who is dropping out of school and what so and so is doing. I am just curious like that. And with Em over in England, I don’t get to find out as much. We were both complaining how we miss out on the gossip because we’re away from home. But I think that that’s the smallest of reasons to go home.
In leiu of home, I need to call my parents today. I haven’t been a good son and called them for a while. Blah.
My girlfriend is going to be experimenting this weekend with the whole “Tights as Pants” dilemma. It will be chronicled in full on the JSTB website (Link in the sidebar). Things have been going good with us, school often keeps us busy but we’re still trying to see each other lots and watch lots of the Office, and Hell’s Kitchen, amongst other things. I’ve already started planning for her birthday in December, should be a good time! 
Also, it’s definitely fall here in Victoria, all the leaves have turned and it’s making for some great picture taking. I really need to get out there and snap a few to show you guys! Hopefully this weekend. There’s also this really creepy crane that the school is using to build a new residence, and the light on it is always on every night. Definitely makes for some eerie stuff. Will snap photos soon.
I guess that’s all I can think of really for now. Maybe I’ll catch the blog bug again and start blogging lots today.
Later days,
- J
Ongoing History Of New Music, and Then Some.
One thing I do enjoy about being home is driving. And when driving, I get to listen to the radio. And when I listen to the radio, I get to listen to sweet shows like “The Ongoing History of New Music.”
The Ongoing History of New Music debuted in February 1993 on radio station 102.1 The Edge/Toronto. Since then it’s…well, it’s taken on a life of its own. Consider: More than 500 different one-hour episodes have been produced, making it the longest-running music documentary in Canada and one of the longest in North America. More than 5,000 one-minute daily features have been written and produced. The program is syndicated on virtually every major rock station in Canada. The Ongoing History of New Music show has spun off four books (all written by Alan Cross), which have worldwide sales of over 30,000 copies, not to mention almost 20 different compilation CDs (including four official Ongoing History discs).
This is the little bio on the website – http://exploremusic.com/ongoing-history-of-new-music/ - which is now in the blogroll. I really enjoy listening to this show as it encorporates a lot of music that I really like listening to. The host also brings up some really cool facts. Like I learnt today that super producer Brian Eno composed the Window’s Start-Up theme.
So being in Calgary feels kind of like a big PR trip, as in personal relations. I’m basically spending all my days seeing people, telling them what my summer is like, what my girlfriend is like, what my life is like etc. I’ve refined the story to about 4 or 5 sentances by now. It’s just nice to see some of these friends. But I think that this is a good amount of visiting. I know that if I lived here, I defintely wouldn’t make this kind of effort to see any of these people. So it’s nessecary. I’ve been here four days, and that means I have one week left. Hopefully I’ll find enough things to do to keep me occupied. Still waiting on some people who I thought were my friends before I left to make an effort to hang out. It’ll be interesting if it ever happens, I’m doubting it but you never know. And if she doesn’t try to hang out, I’ll know what to consider her. 
I’m missing my girlfriend a lot. I really want to be back with her and at least talking to her more. Since I’ve been here we’ve barely talked for more than an hour. Granted we don’t usually talk all that much, but it’s nice to at least communicate with her. I went and saw Up today, and the main character and his wife reminded me a lot of my girlfriend and me. In the movie, the characters have their own chair that they sit in and just read. And that’s like us, we don’t have to be doing anything, or talking, we just like being together, and that’s something I love and is really important to me. 
You know what I hate? People who handshake too hard. I was at the bar last night, and one guy who I went to high school with came over and gave me a deathgrip. I know that guys are told to have a firm handshake, but it’s suppose to be that. Firm. Not circulation cutting-off tight. I don’t know if it’s like a competition to see who’s handshake is tighter, and if he walks away feeling good about himself for destroying my hand. To me it comes off more as a guy who is trying to hard or too much of a douche bag. Guys, have a firm handshake, give a decent squeeze and then that’s it. Be professional.
Today I met with a friend whom I haven’t seen in 2 years and it was fun catching up with her for a few hours. Sadly I realized we probably won’t see each other again for another two years. I got some new shoes and I’ll be going shopping again tomorrow for some other clothes, so good times will ensue.
Counting down the days,
- J
Calgary – The Heart Of The New West
Or maybe the new slogan should be:
Everything’s bigger in Texas Calgary
It’s weird to say, but I think it’s true. Calgary has become like it’s oil counterpart of the south and has monster-sized everything. Being here is quite weird. Upon arriving into YYC, my mother and brother and I went to the new CrossIron Mills http://www.crossironmills.com/. The new supersized mall in Balzac (which is just outside of Calgary), it’s the same size as West Edmonton Mall, but all on one floor. It is quite the spectacle. And I think that it’s more or less just than than an actual mall. People are not going to go there to shop, you’re going there to gawk and stare at the ridiculous of the scale of this mall.
And it’s patrons. We ate lunch at a burger joint, South St. Burgers, which is basically like a Subway for burgers, but not as good. The burgers were nothing spectacular and I was expecting more. But I was not suprised to see a 12 year old who probably weighed as much as I do chowing down on a few burgers.
After burgers, my mother insisted we go to the Bass Store. Which is basically a hunter/hick/redneck’s wetdream. The first you have to do to enter this store is pass through a turnstile. A turnstile. Sorry, is this a theme park? Apparently it is. There was one of those electronic shooting ranges for kids, and all your Buck Hunter arcade games. Upon every wall, surface and floor of this store there was some kind of dead, stuffed animal. I swear that the wildlife population of Alberta has decreased by 30% to just fill this store with stuff. There’s moose, elk, a herd of reindeer, duck, geese, packs of wolves, bears. If it loves in the Canadian Wilderness, it’s in this store. It’s ridiculous, but apparently Calgary lives through the phrase – “bigger is better.” As clearly evident by this mall.
Anywho, after this mall, we came home. To a workzone. Our house is currently being renovated, we are getting our main floor repainted, hardwood floors, new kitchen, the words. And by we, I mean my parents. They are doing all said renovations. We are all currently cooking on a barbeque, microwave and toaster oven. We have our fridge in our garage and the kitchen table is down by our TV. Secluded to basically one floor as the basement is being used for storing all of the stuff from upstairs. Not exactly what I was looking forward to when I came home, but it will have to do.
Amongst all this chaos, my brother is moving up to Edmonton shortly, so this adds to the stress and a few fights have been caused by arguing over whats going where and who’s doing what. I, being probably the most laid-back member of the family, just get to sit back and stay out of everything here.
So this is day 2/3 away from my girlfriend in Victoria, and I can definitely tell it’s more wearing on her than me. Here I have a lot of my friends and I am going to be busy just about everyday I am here. And she’s feeling pretty lonely at home in Victoria. I’m not really sure what to do in my situation. It’s hard for me to just be like, “Yes Dear I won’t do this” and “Okay I miss you too” a lot of the time. And I really do miss her and care for her and love her, I just worry about her and whether I am the biggest thing in her life and if she can survive without me. I was in a situation before in my life where I felt like my girlfriend was dependant on me and NEEDED me to survive. I don’t feel that my girlfriend is this way, but I’m trying to be cautious that it doesn’t become like that. I know that she’s mature and can handle being by herself and that’s one of the things I like so much about her. I’m hoping she meets me at the airport and we can drive home together and pick up right where we left off.
Speaking of picking up where I left off. I think that’s a sign of a real and true friend. I feel that there are people here that I can hang out with, for the first time in four months, and it’s like I never left. We’re cracking jokes and being dicks to each other and all that, and it’s great. That’s one of the greatest things about coming back is bein able to hang out with these people just like you did before you left. But that’s not the case with everyone here. Apparently a lot of my friends don’t even talk to each other and they live here together, I’ve kept in better touch with some of them while I’ve been away. Maybe that’s because of force of being away and you HAVE to make an effort to talk to find out everything. At the bar on Thursday night, we were talking about our one friend in England right now, and how many postcards we had gotten from her. Everyone there had gotten about four or five. And I’ve gotten something like 10+. Maybe that’s just because of the bond I have with this person, or maybe it’s bad posting, or maybe it’s because I’ve made the effort to talk to her while she’s gone and I think I’ve tried to maintain the relationship we had before we left. She’s said that our bond has even gotten stronger, and I don’t think that’s a false statement. Which is good.
So after some much needed catching up time, it was party night! I got prepared by dressing up as a WWII Jew. Which is horribly offensive and such I understand, but it was a good costume and I don’t think I did anything to disgraceful, which was good. The party was great, combining my friends and my brothers friends in a few games of socialbles. Which is quite a feat considering I have never actually finished an entire game of socialbles ever. I was impressed that everyone got dressed up and glad that quite a few people came! I had a really good time and hope to catch up with a lot more people later.
So, here we are again. That glorious time of night that seems to reek havoc on my soul, oh 3:30 am, woe is me. My mother blames it on the coffee. I don’t know what it is that makes this time of night so odd to my system, but here I am again. I was up @ 3:30 my first night here and moments after I woke up, my girlfriend sent me a text asking if I was up, maybe subconciously we both wake up at that time to be with each other?
Anywho it is most definitely time for bed, I hope this entry suffices those who check this often. I may not get another chance to post until I’m up til 3:30 again. I don’t really like blogging around my family, in fear that they might see it and want to read it, and then find other blogs I have…
Later days,
- J
